(1) Flight crews must ensure that all surly bonds have been slipped entirely before aircraft taxi or flight is attempted.
(2) During periods of severe sky dancing, the FASTEN SEATBELT sign must remain constantly illuminated.
(3) Sunward climbs must not exceed the maximum permitted aircraft ceiling.
(4) Passenger aircraft are prohibited from joining the tumbling mirth.
(5) Pilots flying through sun-split clouds must comply with all applicable visual and instrument flight rules.
(6) Do not perform these hundred things in front of Federal Aviation Administration Inspectors.
(7) Wheeling, soaring, and swinging will not be accomplished simultaneously except by pilots in the flight simulator or in their own aircraft on their own time.
(8) Be advised that sunlit silence will occur only when a major engine malfunction has occurred.
(9) "Hov'ring there" will constitute a highly reliable signal that a flight emergency is imminent (except for rotorcraft).
(10) Forcasts of shouting winds are available from the local FSS. Encounters with unexpected shouting winds shall be reported by PIREP.
(11) Be forewarned that pilot craft-flinging is a leading cause of passenger airsickness.
(12) Should any crewmember or passenger experience delirium while in the burning blue, submit an irregularity report upon flight termination.
(13) Windswept heights will be topped by a minimum of 1,000 feet to prevent massive airsickness-bag use.
(14) Aircraft engine ingestion of, or impact with, larks or eagles should be reported to the FAA and the appropriate aircraft maintenance facility.
(15) Air Traffic control (ATC) must issue all special clearances for treading the high untresspassed sanctity of space.
(16) FAA regulations state that no one may sacrifice aircraft cabin pressure to open aircraft windows or doors while in flight.
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Page Last Updated on: Oct-11-2001